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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23265493">Life After Death</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/untropicalisland/pseuds/untropicalisland'>untropicalisland</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mild Blood, kind of implied romance?, spoilers through episode 98</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:13:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,367</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23265493</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/untropicalisland/pseuds/untropicalisland</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Brief scenes of The Mighty Nein immediately after Fjord's death and resurrection.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Caleb and Beau</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Caleb feels himself take over the situation once the resurrections are finished, and he hates how good he is at doing it. Someone else should be the leader, not him, but it’s automatic and no one else is taking over and everyone seems grateful so he lays out the plan for the night. Someone will stay awake with Fjord. Someone will stay awake with Orly. Caleb himself will navigate through the night.</p><p>Caduceus has not left Fjord’s side since he first ran over and knelt down and began to pray. He has not let go of Fjord’s hand since the diamond burst into droplets of seawater and a shuddering breath returned to Fjord’s ruined chest, and he said he would stay up with him through the night before carrying him back to his room. Now, from his position on the deck, Caleb can see a soft purple-tinged light from the captain’s quarters, the color of the crystal on Caduceus’s staff.</p><p>Yasha said she could stay up with Orly, with Jester sleeping in the room but not to be disturbed unless it was an emergency. “Good to have one cleric rested,” Caleb had agreed. Veth and Beau were to sleep as well. Veth stops before she returned to her hammock. “Are you sure you’ll be okay, Caleb?” she asks him.</p><p>“Get some rest, Veth,” he says, not answering the question. She gives him a look but nods and once she leaves he uncrosses his arms and lets his hands tremble with adrenaline for a while.</p><p>The storm has receded into the distance. He can hear faint rumbles and see flashes, but they are far off, and while the deck is still slick with rain the blood has mostly washed away and there is only a misty drizzle falling now.</p><p>He hears soft footsteps behind him even though he can see the crew at the helm, and turns as someone joins him, looking out at the still-choppy ocean.</p><p>Beau’s hair is messy, and her eyes look dark and swollen,</p><p>“Beauregard,” he says quietly.</p><p>“Couldn’t sleep,” she mumbles. Caleb gives her a nod.</p><p>“Why do you think I volunteered to navigate?” he says.</p><p>They both stare out silently at the black, clouded sky and dark sea for a few moments. When Beau speaks her voice is high and cracking and Caleb can see by the faint lantern light that she’s crying again.</p><p>“You were right. No one goes.”</p><p>He still says nothing, just places a hand on her shoulder. She grabs it, an automatic and familiar gesture, and he waits.</p><p>“When I was little sometimes I’d wish I had an older brother. Someone who would climb trees with me and teach me to fight. And maybe if my father had a son...things would be different. He’d be different. Or at least someone could stand in his way.”</p><p>“A protector,” says Caleb softly. Beau’s voice is still ragged, but she’s regaining control.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Well, we are protecting him now. That seems to be what this,” he pauses before the word he has only said out loud to Veth, “family is. Having each other’s backs. Caduceus is with him and I don’t think he’s going to let anything happen.”</p><p>"I just - I couldn’t stop the one who - who killed him. And this didn’t feel like when Caduceus died, or No - Veth, I mean” said Beau.</p><p>“This was not the same. Those were accidents. Bad accidents, but this was deliberate.” He hears his own voice drop down to a whisper at this, and feels his hand tighten on Beau’s shoulder, but he continues. “We are going to keep him safe during the peace talks, even if we have to sleep in shifts for the rest of the journey, and we will find out how to get that ball out from his chest.”</p><p>Beau takes her hand off his, on her shoulder, and he lets his own hand fall. They both stare out into the darkness in silence for a while.</p><p>She’s right. Caduceus’s death didn’t feel the same - they were all in shock and pain from the fight and none of them knew what to expect when Jester pulled out the diamond and with a seriousness they rarely saw from her brought him back.</p><p>And Veth’s...Caleb wasn’t lying. It wasn’t the same, it wasn’t an ambush or a hit, just a trap. It still didn’t change how he felt. For Fjord, he felt cold. For Veth, he felt frozen. He’s not sure if Beau even noticed that he couldn’t speak or breathe until Veth did again.</p><p>Beau finally wipes her face with the back of her hand.</p><p>“Thanks, Caleb. I should probably try to sleep again.” She sounds exhausted and when he turns to watch her go he sees unhealed slashes from the fight - both clerics were so busy in the moments after.</p><p>“Ja,” he says, not taking his eyes off her until she disappears below the deck.</p><p>It will be a long night, but now that the storm has passed Caleb finds the herbs in the pouch he hastily grabbed from next to his bed. The monkey comes down to join him.</p><p>“I will put you back in our favorite form again when we are back on dry land, but do you remember being an owl?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Caduceus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Caduceus sees Fjord’s chest move again on the deck, and takes a deep breath himself before casting a healing spell. The hole on Fjord’s chest closes, though it and the deck below him are still splattered with blood turned watery in the rain and the wound is still an angry jagged red line. But Fjord’s breath sounds better, in the few seconds of silence between Jester finishing her prayer and Caleb beginning to speak.</p><p>“Okay. We will need someone to stay with each of them. I will keep watch and navigate on the deck, and the rest of you should sleep.” His voice is strained but level.</p><p>“I’ll stay with Fjord,” Caduceus says immediately, not taking an eye off the shallow rise and fall. He is aware of Jester and Yasha picking up Orly to take him to the gun deck, but he himself picks up Fjord and carries him to the captain’s quarters.</p><p>After lighting up his staff Caduceus stares for a moment at the slash in the mattress and the spreading red stain, but his arms are beginning to shake from more than just the weight and he lays Fjord down as softly as he can and sits at the edge of the bed, near the headboard, holding Fjord’s hand.</p><p>The quarters are larger than those on the gun deck but it’s still a ship and it’s still a small room, and Fjord had neatly hung his cloak on a peg just above the bed. Caduceus reaches it and unhooks the pin he had given him in Rexxentrum.</p><p>“Thank you,” he says, holding the symbol to his own chest. “I don’t believe it was his time yet, and I am grateful you have allowed that decision of me.” He feels the tears run down his face as he starts a new healing prayer, a longer one, in the dim light. He doesn’t want to focus on his own breathing and the sobs that keep intruding in on it so he focuses on Fjord’s instead as he casts the spell.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Yasha and Veth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Veth comes to relieve her an hour or so after dawn, and Yasha is surprised but grateful. Orly’s been fine, but she hasn’t particularly enjoyed being alone in her own head for so long, particularly coming down from a fierce rage. It helps that Jester is there sleeping peacefully curled up on some pillows, and that she saw Beau slip up to the deck and come down looking a little less tense and miserable. It helps that the air below decks still smells like rain, and that both Beau and Caduceus have taught her to still her mind.</p>
<p>“You’re up early,” she whispers to Veth.</p>
<p>“I went to bed early,” Veth whispers back. “We’re on a boat and I’m sober. It’s fucking boring.”</p>
<p>Yasha smiles. “But you have so much gunpowder to play with.” Veth gives her a wry grin.</p>
<p>“Doesn’t do much when the enemy boards you and doesn’t even have a ship you can blow a hole in.”</p>
<p>Yasha shrugs at that. It’s fair. She would have liked to have helped Veth destroy a ship after that battle. Barehanded, if necessary.</p>
<p>Veth looks at Orly and Jester. “Any problems in the night?”</p>
<p>“None,” says Yasha. “Has anyone checked on Fjord? Caduceus will need to sleep too.” Yasha isn’t feeling bad, now that Veth is here. She’s used to staying up through the night and sleeping long hours the next day. She would often go without sleep for a night on hunting trips, or to slip away with Zuala. The memory aches, but for a strange reason she’s feeling oddly hopeful. Perhaps it’s the cool gray light filtering in. Even though she hasn’t healed from the fight, her shoulders feel relaxed and stronger.</p>
<p>“No - I can’t heal, anyway, and someone should be here until Jester wakes up. You should get some rest.”</p>
<p>“Thank you. Do you want something to do while you wait?” Yasha asks. “The book Fjord gave me isn’t magic anymore but the pictures are still, ah,” she feels herself blush a little. What has gotten into her? Her friend died last night, even if only for a moment. But she doesn’t want to grieve, not this death, and while revenge would be sweet she realizes that difficult as it had seemed, it felt right to watch Orly through the early hours of the morning. It feels right to go onto the deck and make sure everyone is alive and well, and then to rest.</p>
<p>“Sure,” says Veth. “I have one of Jester’s too. We ought to get more books when we’re next in port. All we have are spellbooks and erotica. Maybe I should get a book for Yeza to teach Luc to read - he’s the right age.”</p>
<p>“I think Caduceus has a cookbook,” says Yasha. “And Luc seems like a very smart boy. He might be reading already - I’m sure Jester’s old books are in the house.” Veth can’t hold back a proud smile at that. Yasha continues, “Thank you. I will check on Fjord and Caduceus and Caleb, and I’ll go to bed afterwards.” Veth nods and cocks her head, twirling a braid as she looks at one of the exercises.</p>
<p>The deck is cool and wreathed in fog, but Caleb still notices her and nods. He looks tired, but calm.</p>
<p>“Orly is okay. I just wanted to get some air before going to bed. Has anyone checked on Fjord?” Yasha asks.</p>
<p>“Until the fog rolled in I could see Caduceus’s staff lit up in the cabin. I thought I would go over there and make the hut and sleep in the room, once someone else is up.”</p>
<p>“That sounds like a good idea,” Yasha says. “I will leave you to it.”</p>
<p>She walks to where she doesn’t think Caleb can see her, closes her eyes, and tries to expand her wings. It was only a dream, but perhaps something is there.</p>
<p>Nothing comes out, but a voice seems to whisper in her head.</p>
<p>
  <i>Rest, daughter. It takes time to learn to fly after captivity.</i>
</p>
<p>Though the sea is calm and the day merely overcast, she hears very distant thunder, and smiles before going below deck to sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Jester and Fjord</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jester doesn’t realize where she is for a moment when she wakes up until the night comes back to her, vivid and sudden. She sits up quickly but it is quiet in the room where Orly lays asleep on the largest bed on the ship. Veth is there, doing what appears to be a highly competent handstand on the chair.</p><p>“When did you learn to do that?” she asks.</p><p>“Yasha’s book,” says Veth. “It’s very good. Orly’s been okay, I took over about an hour ago.” Jester assesses Orly and agrees - his breathing is steady and there are occasional deep mumbles and very faint bagpipe sounds. She can’t look closer without awakening him, but she sees no signs of his wounds opening.</p><p>“I’m going to tell Caduceus to go to sleep then. If something changes, message me. Or just yell really loud,” says Jester.</p><p>Veth kicks her legs over and stands on the floor and salutes. “Aye aye, carpenter.” </p><p>Jester makes a face. Once everything is under control she'll probably have to make some repairs to the gun deck, but for now she runs up the stairs. She debates waking up Beau but reluctantly decides against it. It would be good to talk to someone, but Yasha had been up all night, and Beau could use the rest too. Time enough later on.</p><p>There is a slowly lifting fog, and a cloudy sky behind it. Caleb is leaning out on the railing and startles and says a word she’s pretty sure is a Zemnian curse when she taps his shoulder.</p><p>“Jester! How is Orly?” he says. She sees him expertly fight back a yawn - she’s not sure most people would have noticed.</p><p>“Sleeping, but he seems okay. You should go to bed too. To get your spells back,” she adds.</p><p>“I was thinking I would let Beau have Frumpkin for the day, and if we seem to veer off course she can get me.” He shows Jester the tiny owl.</p><p>“Oh Caleb, that’s so nice! I will give her the owl, and you will go to sleep.” She reaches her hands up to his shoulders and begins to steer him to the gun deck.</p><p>“I was thinking I would sleep in the hut in Fjord’s room, if that’s okay.”</p><p>“That’s a good idea, Caleb! Let me tell Caduceus to go to bed. Wait here.”</p><p>Jester walks over to the captain’s quarters and gently opens the door. Caduceus is sitting on the edge of the bed, and looks up when she enters.</p><p>He looks drained and exhausted in a way Caleb does not, and she gasps. “Is Fjord okay?”</p><p>“He’s fine,” says Caduceus softly. “No trouble in the night.” She notices that he is clasping Fjord’s symbol of the Wildmother, and walks over to give him a long, wordless hug.</p><p>“That was really scary, Caduceus. I’m glad there was another cleric.” He buries his face in her shoulder briefly, and then gently disentangles himself.</p><p>“I’m glad you’re here too,” he says. He stands up, slowly, and Jester can see the red rims of his eyes and faint tear tracks. She doesn’t know what to say, only makes a mental note to talk to him after he’s slept.</p><p>“I’ll see you in the afternoon,” says Jester. “Oh, and Caleb said he would come in here and sleep in the hut around Fjord. Can you tell him?”</p><p>“Yeah,” says Caduceus, who looks visibly relieved at the plan. “Tell him when he wakes up...no, I’ll tell him...” and he trails off into a huge yawn.</p><p>“I’ll tell him you’ll come by. Go to sleep,” she says. “I brought on a little milk in Nicodranas just before we left - warm it up and it will help you.”</p><p>Caduceus manages a ghost of a smile and slowly walks out. In a few moments Caleb comes in, the glass bead he took from one of her rings already out, his hands already raised to begin.</p><p>“Thank you, Caleb.” He merely nods, having already started the spell. The tiny owl hops from his shoulder over to Jester’s horns and perches right at the tip. Jester waits patiently, keeping her eyes on Fjord and his steady, slow breathing, until the hut appears around them. It is the blue of the ocean on the coast, brilliant and warm. </p><p>“Oh Caleb, that’s beautiful!”</p><p>“Well, we are not trying to hide, just protect, so I could choose a brighter color.” His gaze goes blank for a moment, and the owl flits out one of the broken windows. He looks at Jester, a little apologetically. “I told him to wake up Beau so someone is captaining the ship.”</p><p>“That’s okay. Go to sleep,” says Jester. Caleb doesn’t answer, but curls up in the corner and falls asleep almost immediately.</p><p>Jester sketches, for a while. She draws Fjord and Caleb in the room first, and then from memory she draws Beau in the suit she wore at the party, bowing gracefully and holding out her hand to a giant owl.</p><p>“What are you working on?” she hears from the bed. Fjord’s eyes are open and he’s wincing as he pulls himself up on the pillows.</p><p>“Fjord!” she whispers as loudly as she can without waking Caleb, and runs to give him a hug. He returns it, as best he can.</p><p>“Well, that wasn’t a dream then,” he says, and looks up at the blue dome, at the huddled, sleeping figure of Caleb in the corner, and then looks at her, and his face goes serious. “Oh. Did I…?”</p><p>“Yes. Orly too, but I brought him back. Caduceus brought you back. He stayed up all night with you -he’s sleeping downstairs. Caleb stayed up all night too, navigating, and Yasha watched Orly. I think Beau is captain now?.” She’s talking too fast and her eyes are filled with tears, but she’s smiling as Fjord makes a face.</p><p>“She’ll be good at it. Once the hut goes away I’ll go out on deck.” He winces again and puts his hand on his chest, and his color immediately looks a little less sickly.</p><p>“Fjord, I can heal you, you know,” Jester says.</p><p>“I know, I know, but you’re so good at fighting,” he says, and she smiles a bit. “I assume you all took care of them.”</p><p>“Oh yes,” she says excitedly, still whispering to avoid waking Caleb. “I tried a new spell which was maybe not the best idea on a boat? But it did a lot of damage, and I hit the one who killed you. So did Caleb, with that new spell he did against that creature who petrified Caduceus’s family, you know, the one that turns things to dust, and Caduceus did that one that dries everything up.” The Traveler had told her he wasn’t actually sure how to grant her that one, but pointed out Caduceus probably couldn’t do all of her tricks either. (“The Wildmother and I don’t really share much other than the floral motif, and frankly she could do with some editing. But he can't make a double, can he?”)</p><p>Fjord looks thoughtful. “Thank you, Jester. I don’t think this was something either of us thought would happen when we ran into each other on the road. If I’d known then...”</p><p>“A lot has happened,” she answers.</p><p>“Yeah,” he says. He pulls himself up more until he’s sitting up in bed. He reaches for his sword and concentrates for a moment and it vanishes. Fjord then turns back to her.</p><p>“Do you remember that conversation we had, by the volcano?” he asks her. Jester puts down her piece of charcoal and her sketchbook.</p><p>“Of course,” she says.</p><p>“I think we missed our window for running away and hiding in a hole somewhere,” he says. “We’re about to broker an international peace treaty.”</p><p>“Would you have?” she asks. Jester’s still not sure she could do it, no matter how much it lingers in the back of her head. Or rather, she could, but only if everyone else joined her, and when she looks at Caleb in the corner and her portrait of Beau she knows that would never happen.</p><p>“No,” says Fjord. He looks over a Caleb for a moment, and something passes over his face Jester can’t quite discern. “Sometimes I pretend it was safer back then, but well...I almost drowned before I ever picked up that sword. I told Caleb yesterday that I’ve lived more in the past six months than I expected I ever would.”</p><p>Jester sighs and smiles. “I’m glad we’re doing this.”</p><p>“Me too,” says Fjord, and they stay in the room a little longer, watching the sun begin to break through.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Part of my "let's actually post my drafts during hiatus and quarantine" initiative. I wrote the first two chapters (Caleb and Beau; Caduceus) after Episode 98 and before 99, and went back to write the other two chapters. AU, but like, not in any major way.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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